Jokes about Psychologists

In my mind, some Psychologists are a bunch of people who let you talk on your own and figure out your own problems but still charge you by minutes. What a great job that is!

Here is another good one -

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Walk with God Funny Psychologist Stories
Net Knowledge Pr5 Free Directory

"Award Winning" Girls Lunch

Rebeca and I thought that it might be a good idea to have a girls-lunch outside of the Church, for some good food, lovely girls-time-out and fellowship. This is a rather fun and dynamic groups of girls. It turned out that almost everybody has some fun, nail-biting, interesting trivia's to wow the rest of us.

The Gold medal has to be granted to Bing, the two-time survivor from life-threatening events, once from a car-turning-accident and the other one from a scuba-diving in Phillipans. She told us from her true experiences, those slow-motion flash-back while her car was tossing and turning on the highway is not something made up in the Hollywood movie. God bless her courage and positive attitude! Oh, before I forget, she drove Mitsubishi that day.

The Silver medal goes to Rebeca, the fearless leader of the gang, who by far has had the coolest job among anybody I know - test driving concept cars! She had it as a 6-month internship for material engineering, and did wrack a few nice cars during her internship. Her job definitely beats the ones for those of us who have to test drive a mind-bogging software that transacts purchase orders and invoices. Damn! This is not a fair world!

The Browns medal goes to Iris, who has the cutest fear of the world. She is afraid of walking on the grass, especially during the night. Quote-and-quote from her- "Who would know whether there is something dirty in the grass to mass up my shoes!" No other comments beats this one in terms of qualifying her as a true woman. Oh, she is getting married in May and also forbidden to make or eat any desert till then. Congratulations! And hang in there. Those walnut chocolate brownies are not good for you. :)

The special award of unprecedented ability to combine style and sense of practice goes to Sara. According to her - "I don't like the taste of tea much, but like the style of drinking tea. I guess since I have to drink some water-like stuff, might as well enjoy the fashion and style coming with it." Totally makes sense!

This is a group of advanced-Christians, except me, someone at her best can get a C- if I somehow manage to squeeze out some time during the week to do my homework. So, it's often nerve-wracking to answer those tricky open-end questions during the group discussions. Especially, I grew up in the communist culture where Chairman Mao's words were treated like the word of truth, and the communist party pretty much defined the answers to the ultimate question of the universe.

Just for the record, it's not the non-sense 42 from the hilarious book - Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy. If you haven't read it, I would highly recommend it, especially if you enjoy goofy and whimsical humors.

When it's my turn to answer those questions, I use a simple rule-of-thumb - if Holy Rebeca does not give me the "look-of-what-are-you-talking-about", I am doing just fine.

Dear God, thanks for blessing us with this great opportunity to get to know each other a bit more and a fun time together. Pray in Jesus name, Amen!

Is God Really Talking To Me?

Finally, I was done crying, or for better or worse, my inventory of tears needed some replenishment. So, I decided to make to the bible study in spite of being late and having a meeting with the India team within an hour and a half. I needed a break. Some fresh air, or preaching from God might help clear out my nose an hopefully my head.

As soon as I sit down besides the Holy Rebeca, as the discussion leader, she asked us:” What are the ways that people are unclean and rebellious?”
Clara read from her carefully prepared notes:” bitterness, complains, un-forgiveness,inability to forget…”
I was so surprised by the question and answer that I almost fell off from the chair. “I mean, seriously, My God, I asked you to talk to me and bless me with directions, but I did not expect you to be so blunt!" I kept my mouth shut, and could not help thinking “Is God poking fun at me or what?”

The Holy Rebeca continued: “So, explain how one’s sins defile one’s surroundings. “
“So this is the sin against God’s words. Should I confess?”
Thank God, when it was my turn to answer this question, the Holy Rebeca said: “You can pass, if you don’t want to share.”
Feeling temporarily relieved, I said “Pass.”

The Holy Rebeca continued: “Describe the symbolic ceremony for the complete removal of sin…”
At this point, I was just beyond baffled by those questions, as if God was questioning me himself for my sin. This time I answered: “Confession.” Unless one can accept responsibilities of wrong behaviors that hurt the loved ones, one can not get well.

So, My God, I confess my sins to you, and cry for your mercy. I am in pain and distress. May your salvation! God, please protect me. (Psalm 69:29)
bible quote Quote Psalm Walk with God Fun Stories with God

Net Knowledge Pr5 Free Directory